Changing Your Life By Changing The Stories You Tell Yourself (Part 2)

Berkeley Psychologist

In the first part of our blog series on stories we tell ourselves, we began to uncover the deep, underlying reasons that so many find themselves unable to experience a fulfilling or purposeful life due to the negative and false narratives they write each about their lives and circumstances.

Each day we find ourselves moving through our life, experiencing our world, while our brains are busy navigating circumstances, options, choices, and opportunities. However, instead of seeing the world as a possibility worth experiencing boldly, many of us choose to see ourselves as the victims of our circumstances.

My experience as a Berkeley psychologist working with men and women who have experienced various levels of trauma in their lives has shown me that many individuals’ self-worth is often hijacked by lies and negative assumptions about who they are in light of other’s successes.

The key to experiencing a life full of joy and hopefulness – even amid adverse circumstances – begins by shifting and rewriting the stories that we tell ourselves every day. Let’s take a look at just a few of the many ways you can start to rewrite the stories you tell yourself every day:

Rewriting Your Story

Identifying Your Story

Before you can begin to change your story, you must identify the stories that you are currently telling yourself. Take the time to stop and invest in writing out the thoughts, opinions, and beliefs that you hold about your yourself, your circumstances, your past, and your future. These can hold powerful keys to unlocking the reasons why your story is keeping you in a negative place!

Practice this many times. Once you have identified the common themes that you often include in the stories you tell yourself, you can see the steps you need to rewrite your personal, internal narrative.

Shift Your Story

Once you have identified the aspects of your current internal story that keeps you from experiencing the life that you desire to live, it is time to take steps to rewrite and reimagine what is possible.

Who do you want to be? Where do you want to go? What positive aspects of your life, experiences, skills, and talents impress others consistently? Begin to rewrite your new story as a first-person narrative that cements these facts about yourself as reality – rather than that lies and negative thoughts that so easily invade.

Write this new story out on a piece of paper or in an online space where you can return to it often. This will allow you to remind yourself of the truths that you have claimed about yourself and gives you a place to return for reassurance when negative thoughts begin to threaten your heart and soul.

Root Your New Story In Fact & Emotions

While adding facts to the new story you are writing is important, adding positive emotions to the mix is vital for success. I work with many clients that scheduling a daily time to stop, breathe, and find mindfulness amid their hectic lives is key to anchoring their new narratives.

Do not fear the quiet or the uncertain in these moments, and try to allow yourself to wander into places where you find joy and purpose – as these moments will being to tie themselves to your new story and add a powerful boost of positive emotion.

Kindness Is Key

Above all else, be kind to yourself. The process of changing and rewriting the stories you tell yourself will not happen overnight, as many of these thought patterns and routines are habits that are hard-wired within you over many years. Take it slow, work with a mental health professional for accountability and encouragement, and don’t place unnecessary expectations on yourself!

Rewrite Your Story With The Help Of A BerkeleyPsychologist

Are you ready to rewrite your story with a method that is both effective and long-lasting? Working with a trained therapist can be the key to ensuring that your new story is written accurately and remains strong over the years.

As a Berkeley psychologist, I have years of experience working with clients to uncover the deep, negative stories they tell themselves, as well as how to begin rewriting these stories in new ways.

Want to learn more? Contact me today to learn more about my therapy and services. I would be more than happy to sit down with you in person or online to begin discussing how you can take control of the narration of your life and discover how to start living a life of potential and opportunity!

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Dr. Winsten is Providing Telehealth Sessions during the Covid19 Crisis | (510) 527-5359